Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Offensive old grannies & stupid boys (well really, boy)

Hello again blog world. I’m sorry it has been so awfully long, for I have thought many times to myself that I have nothing funny to tell you. Today however, changed everything. I don’t have any clever antics to tell you, but two great annoyances in my life have occurred very recently and I would like to vent. Don’t worry – I’m back and I have a couple goodins’ for ya! So here goes:


Annoyance 1:
So the other day I was on the roof soaking up the sun, wearing cute jean shorts and a tank top because it was a beautiful day with my friend J. After a couple fabulous hours of girl talk and happiness we climb down the fire escape and go back to the elevator on the 9th floor of our building to go home. J gets off on the 8th floor  (for that is where she lives, obvs) and two very old women who I will soon find out are incredibly opinionated get on the elevator. When they first get on, I smile at them because they look all cute and old and I expect them to buy me ice cream and tell me stories of when they were my age. HOWEVER, this is not the case. I soon find out they’re evil demons out to upset me with their words. So the elevator starts taking off (yes I know it’s not a rocket ship but it has more flair than ‘descending’ don’t ya think?) and the two demons women continue their conversation. As I’m minding my own business and start to reach for my phone to check for a text from the boyfriend and busy myself so as not to seem nosey, they begin to exclaim how texting is one of the greatest evils and how all of the “young” are doing it entirely too much. I quickly halt my reach for the cellular and play it off as a quick, spastic stretch – they’re old hopefully they didn’t catch it. Now, I start to think – I disagree, but that’s cool for you to have your own opinion oldies, and I continue to hope for our ice cream cones and imagine this.

This hope quickly shatters to pieces as old lady number one decides to discuss how ALL the “young” people have absolutely no social skills due to constant texting. I keep my cool and convince myself that I must not be a “young” person that they are discussing for they are expressing these views mere feet from me. I, in fact, have beautiful social skills, and of course they experienced that when I smiled hello to them on the 9th floor – they love me. As I am thinking this, the elevator clicks to the second floor and old lady number two begins to agree with old lady number one and proceeds to say some awful, awful things about the youth of our country. As she finishes up and the elevator comes to a stop in the lobby, I decide that I do not take offense to this because I am a woman in college and quite frankly, I rock. As old lady number two says her last few words walks out of the elevator she turns back to me and says, “no offense” and walks off. Silence. Followed by and extreme burning desire to shout, “well let me tell you something, lady, OFFENSE TAKEN!” However, I refrained because my social skills are impeccable, ignore the comment, and walk to my building next-door and go home. The irony in the statement “no offense” is so strong. It almost always ends in offense taken.


Annoyance 2: 
As this annoyance is currently going on I will not digress into extreme detail for I am so heated at the mere mention of it that I could probably chew your ear off for hours on the topic just because you’re willing to listen. So I’m sitting on Facebook, pondering what eloquent, breathtaking essay I am about to write for English and an ignorant boy pops up on my news feed commenting on my sorority sister’s status. Now, not only is it my sorority sister, it’s my Big, so OF COURSE I’ve got her back. Her status is something along the lines of us needing to reallocate funding to education and includes statistics and what not and mentions the high wage of sports players. So this guy - we’ll call him Poorly Educated Boy Speaking of Things He Knows Nothing of (PEBSTHKN for short) – goes off on her claiming that if the school system is in such debt we should just CHARGE students for attending public school. UHHH okay. I’ll give you a moment to steam up your own anger to this over-privileged PEBSTHKN that knows nothing. So I come back with the fact that I was accepted to private high schools and not able to attend due to a lack of financial aid so if it weren’t for free public schooling I would not have graduated high school, much less attended. I also point out that I would like to attend summer school and give up MY summer to dedicate to the books but can not due to the lack of financial aid in California State Schools. He ignores this comment for a while until I tell him to address it and he comes back with this “Alex, If I can afford financial aid, you can. My family is probably way worse off then you are.” Okay PEBSTHKN, 1. My name is not Alex and you have no right to call me Alex. It is Alexis. 2. It’s than, not then. If you’re going to have an argument about education at least appear educated. 3. Don’t go around assuming that I have more money than you especially when that’s not even close to the point. You don’t know me. And 4. I just TOLD you that I couldn’t and can’t get financial aid, and you’re going to try and tell me that I can? Show me the money PEBSTHKN, because I would love to see it! After much debate (very poor on his part) between my big, PEBSTHKN and I, he decides to say that students that don’t pass the exit exam in high school shouldn’t be in school. Now I don’t know what you think, readers, but I feel as though not passing an EXIT exam is precisely the reason you should remain in school. Long story short, we kicked his little uneducated booty and he has yet to respond because he’s shocked with our wit, beauty, grace, intelligence, and charm. 

Anyways, how was YOUR week?